Palin’s unwed daughter preggers!
The 17 year old teen daughter of McCain’s “family values” VP choice is pregnant and will keep the baby, and marry the father (maybe in that order).
Shocking I say! Just shocking! That all of those good, old-fashioned family values didn’t rub off on Sarah Palin’s kith and kin.
Those long cold Alaska nights make it hard to follow the Lord’s admonitions toward abstinence until marriage.
Actually, in the parlance of fundy religious ideology, such an out-of-wedlock pregnancy isn’t really that big a deal so long as the guilty parties repent and ask the good Lord for forgiveness real quick like. So long as they get right with God, and tie the knot all will be forgiven and their fall from grace will instead become a cautionary tale for the far right. Hey, it could have been worse. She could have been the world’s 2nd pregnant “man” in a homosexual relationship. Now that would be a deal breaker.
The Lord does indeed work in mysterious ways.
Many other candidates were thought to have been higher on McCain’s short list for his VP pick, and so the choice of Sarah Palin came as a surprise to a great many people as well as some of the candidates themselves.
Among those politicians snubbed were conservative Democrat Joe Lieberman, fellow presidential candidate Mitt Romney, and dark horse family values candidate Cletus the Slackjawed Yokel whose huge brood of offspring was seen as the “living embodiment” of religious Republican ideals and whose lower economic status was seen as a plus in helping McCain identify with the American Everyman.
When reached at his ramshackle shanty and asked to comment on his losing the VP nomination to Palin, Cletus responded, “It don’t make me no nevermind.”
When pressed further if he was bitter about being overlooked for the position, or if he felt that McCain was pandering for women’s votes Cletus was philosophical.
Said Cletus, “Some folks’ll never lose a toe, and then again some folks’ll.”