DisInformation Station
A blog for paranoids and the people out to get them.

Palin’s unwed daughter preggers!

above: the Palin’s wave goodbye to all ideological credibility

The 17 year old teen daughter of McCain’s “family values” VP choice is pregnant and will keep the baby, and marry the father (maybe in that order).

Shocking I say! Just shocking! That all of those good, old-fashioned family values didn’t rub off on Sarah Palin’s kith and kin.

Those long cold Alaska nights make it hard to follow the Lord’s admonitions toward abstinence until marriage.

Actually, in the parlance of fundy religious ideology, such an out-of-wedlock pregnancy isn’t really that big a deal so long as the guilty parties repent and ask the good Lord for forgiveness real quick like. So long as they get right with God, and tie the knot all will be forgiven and their fall from grace will instead become a cautionary tale for the far right. Hey, it could have been worse. She could have been the world’s 2nd pregnant “man” in a homosexual relationship. Now that would be a deal breaker.

The Lord does indeed work in mysterious ways.

Many other candidates were thought to have been higher on McCain’s short list for his VP pick, and so the choice of Sarah Palin came as a surprise to a great many people as well as some of the candidates themselves.

Among those politicians snubbed were conservative Democrat Joe Lieberman, fellow presidential candidate Mitt Romney, and dark horse family values candidate Cletus the Slackjawed Yokel whose huge brood of offspring was seen as the “living embodiment” of religious Republican ideals and whose lower economic status was seen as a plus in helping McCain identify with the American Everyman.

above: Cletus and family react to news of VP snub

When reached at his ramshackle shanty and asked to comment on his losing the VP nomination to Palin, Cletus responded, “It don’t make me no nevermind.”

When pressed further if he was bitter about being overlooked for the position, or if he felt that McCain was pandering for women’s votes Cletus was philosophical.

Said Cletus, “Some folks’ll never lose a toe, and then again some folks’ll.”


4 Responses to “Palin’s unwed daughter preggers!”

  1. Sarah Palin is opposed to Sex Ed., but prefers abstinence as a means of birth control.
    Yeah, that strategy really worked in her daughter’s case, aye!

    The bad news: Bristol Palin is pregnant.
    The GOOD NEWS: It was an immaculate conception!
    Should play right into the hands of the Evangelicals, aye?!
    The baby’s name will be Gustav.

    They weren’t sure if the “young man” was going to marry her, but Bush sent Dick Cheney over with a shotgun, just for a little “talk.”

    See my blog for photo.

  2. Great blog. After I heard this I naturally assumed that Bristol couldn’t have fathered Trig. But I saw a site with a photo of Palin 2 months before she “gave birth” and she looked anything but pregnant. Now I’m beginning to wonder. Is Bristol really 5 months along? Could she have given birth to a child then gotten pregnant again? I’m going to investigate. Something is still not right with this whole story.

  3. Yeah, I refuse to speculate about who the mother of Trig is. I’m guessing Sarah is the mom and just didn’t show her pregnancy too much. Some women just don’t look that much different with child. Depends on the amount of weight they gain, how high or low the baby is, mom’s body type, etc.

    Troopergate and her husband Todd’s being cc’ed in official government emails… now that I want to know more about.

    I’m content to stick with the actual, verifiable hypocritical comedy in this whole story. You don’t have to dig too deep to find comic gold in McCain’s VP pick.

  4. I was kind of hoping she was “unwillingly” knocked up by a Kennedy putting an end to decades of partisanship

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